Hi, my name is, what?

“Hey fake poodle!”

Iggy, stop calling me that.

“Well, what’s your real name, then?”

Don’t have one.  Don’t need one.  I’m going back to the rescue.

No you’re not.

Wait, Karen, what?

You’re a good girl, and I love you very much, so at the end of the trial period I told the rescue I’m not bringing you back.  So no more rescues and no more shelters for you — this is officially your forever home, and we’re your forever family.

Aw, dammit.

“So what’s her name?”

Yeah, did you name me?

Of course I did, sweetie.

Is it a pretty name?  I hope it’s a pretty name.  Is it Lily?

No, it’s not Lily.

Is it Ariel?  I would like Ariel.

It’s not Ariel either.

Penelope?

No.

Princess?

Muppet.

Wha…?!

I named you Muppet.

Wha..?!

Muppet.

Wha…?!

It’s a sweet little name.

Wha…?!

It’s a cute name for a cute little dog.

How the — what the…?

What’s wrong?

You named me after a puppet?!

Settle down.

What the hell is wrong with you?!

Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little bit?

You named me after a bunch of puppets on a children’s show!

Now, Muppet —

What next, are you gonna make me teach you the damned alphabet?!  

Calm down.

You’re a grown-ass woman!  How could you name me Muppet?!

“Hi Muppet!”

Shut up, Iggy!

“Muppet Muppet Muppet!”

Stop that, Iggy.

“Can I have a poodle?”

No.

“Then I’m not stopping.  Muppet Muppet Muppet Muppet!”

Shut up!

Aw, Muppet, don’t crawl back under the — okay.


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12 thoughts on “Hi, my name is, what?

      1. They’re actually doing well. She snarled at him a little bit the first day, but they’re buddies now.

        She just needs to learn that when we talk about “house training,” the area rug in the bedroom is part of said house.

  1. For some reason I was thinking to myself that she looks a little like a Muppet, but in a very sweet way. She actually looks like a perfect little pal for Iggy. πŸ™‚

    1. They’re actually getting along well, but that doesn’t make for very interesting dialogues, so I won’t mention that again. πŸ™‚

  2. I’m glad you’re indulging some literacy license to make things more dramatic, because otherwise Muppet sounds like an emo teenager disappointed that her room mate doesn’t look like her favorite movie idol πŸ™‚

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