“Hey fake poodle!”
Iggy, stop calling me that.
“Well, what’s your real name, then?”
Don’t have one. Don’t need one. I’m going back to the rescue.
No you’re not.
Wait, Karen, what?
You’re a good girl, and I love you very much, so at the end of the trial period I told the rescue I’m not bringing you back. So no more rescues and no more shelters for you — this is officially your forever home, and we’re your forever family.
“So what’s her name?”
Yeah, did you name me?
Of course I did, sweetie.
Is it a pretty name? I hope it’s a pretty name. Is it Lily?
No, it’s not Lily.
Is it Ariel? I would like Ariel.
It’s not Ariel either.
I named you Muppet.
It’s a sweet little name.
It’s a cute name for a cute little dog.
How the — what the…?
You named me after a puppet?!
What the hell is wrong with you?!
Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little bit?
You named me after a bunch of puppets on a children’s show!
Now, Muppet —
What next, are you gonna make me teach you the damned alphabet?!
You’re a grown-ass woman! How could you name me Muppet?!
Shut up, Iggy!
“Muppet Muppet Muppet!”
Stop that, Iggy.
“Can I have a poodle?”
“Then I’m not stopping. Muppet Muppet Muppet Muppet!”
Aw, Muppet, don’t crawl back under the — okay.