A Muppet Christmas.

What did you get for Christmas, Muppet?

I got a Santa!  It makes crinkly noises and flops around and I can bite it a lot!  I love my Santa!

Oh, wait — Iggy got a Rudolph.

‘Scuse me.

I got a Rudolph! 

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Holiday cheer.

Muppet, what did you get for Christmas?

I got a pink rope toy and a rope with a tennis ball!

Iggy, what did you get?

“Umm… well, actually, I got a rope with a tennis ball.”

You got one too?

“No, not ‘too,’ Muppet.  That’s my toy.”

Oh.  Sorry!

“Can I have it back?”

Nope.

“Okay.”

That’s all right, Iggy.  I knew she’d do that, so I got you other toys.

I’ll get those too, you know.

“Yeah, Karen, she will.”

You’re right, Iggy.  Is there anything else you’d like for Christmas?

“I wouldn’t mind cuddling.  Can we cuddle?”

We can do that.

 

“And maybe Brian can take Muppet out, cause she hasn’t pooped in a while.  And then you could sneak me one of the new toys?”

Iggy, that’s a good i–

I heard that!

“Aawww!”

Besides, I don’t need to go out.  I pooped on the rug in the front bedroom.  I’m good for now.

Dammit, Muppet!  

What?  Why dammit?  Damn what?  

Every time I think you’ve learned, you pull this!

It’s raining.  I hate pooping in the rain. 

It doesn’t matter if you hate it!

I never see YOU poop in the rain.  If it’s so great, how come you don’t do it?

NEVER MIND WHERE I POOP!  YOU POOP OUTSIDE!

Wow.  Calm down.

“They say the holidays can be stressful, Muppet.”

Yeah, Iggy, I’ve heard that too.  Must be a human thing.

“I suppose so.  Hey, can I have my tennis ball when you’re done with it?”

Nope.

“Okay.”

————-

Merry Christmas from me, Muppet, and of course, Iggy.

“Oh no, not the antler picture!”

Hush, Iggy.