“Hey poodle! Poodle? Excuse me? Hello? Poodle?”
Who? Poodle? Oh, right, that’s me. Hello. Yes. I’m a poodle. Hello.
“How come you don’t have long poodle ears?”
Um… I’m rare?
“And you don’t have a poofy butt.”
A what? Wow, okay. No, I don’t. Rare, remember?
“And the wrong bits are shaved–“
Okay, yeah, you know what, you’re really weird, and I’m not a poodle, so stop talking about whatever bits of mine are shaved, okay?
“A HA! BUSTED!”
What’s going on in here?
He’s really weird.
“Karen, you lied! She’s not a poodle!”
In fairness, Iggy, neither are you.
“I’m better than a poodle. I’m a Schnauzer, I’ll have you know.”
So is she, Iggy.
“She’s a Schnauzer?”
Well, a Schnauzer mix.
“What’s she mixed with? Bill the Cat?”
That’s not nice, Iggy.
Okay, wow, wait, he’s a Schnauzer?
I was hoping for a German Shepherd.
Yeah, I told them at the rescue, if I had to live with a boy dog, I wanted a German Shepherd.
Well, Schnauzers are nice. You’re a Schnauzer–
Yes, Iggy. She’s a very pretty Schnauzer mix. Be nice.
They said he was a German Shepherd.
The rescue, when you walked in with him.
He doesn’t look anything like a German Shepherd.
That’s what I told them.
And what did they say?
This is disappointing.
I’m sorry you feel that way.
“Imagine how I feel!”
Do I have to stay here?
Well, the rescue has us doing a five-day trial period, but I hope that–
Five days? I can do that. Let me know when it’s up.
“Five days? Oh no, that’s a whole year!”
It’ll certainly feel like it.
Aw, sweetie, is there anything I can do to make you feel better about being here?
Yes. Get a German Shepherd.
We aren’t getting a German Shepherd.
Whatever. I’ll be over here. Let me know when the five days are up.