“Hi folks, Iggy here! Getting over heartworms and tired of confinement? Just lie down in your crate and breathe really fast — you’ll be out of the crate and going on a car ride before you know it! Of course, it’s to an emergency vet, but what can ya do.”
What? You did that purposely?
“Huh? Oh… um… hi Karen!”
Don’t “hi” me. You faked that whole thing?
“Um… kind of.”
You scared the hell out of me!
“I went on a car ride! It was fun!”
Fun? At two in the morning?
“Any time is a good time for a car ride!”
No, Iggy, two in the morning is not a good time for a car ride when I have to be at work at eight.
“I didn’t have to be at work, though. It was fine.”
It was not fine, Iggy! I got a huge vet bill!
“It was totally worth it! Car ride!”
Ugh. It’s almost five now. I have to work in three hours. See that bed there? I’m crawling into it now, and I’m going to sleep. Lie down in your crate and nap.
. . . . .