And how was your day?

“Hi Karen!”

Well, hello, Iggy!

“Welcome home!”

Thank you! 

“Know what I did today?”

What did you do today? 

“Nothing! Oh, wait, I stuck out my tongue.”

You did? 

“Oh, no, hang on, that’s what I’m doing now. I didn’t do that before. I forgot what I did before.”

That’s okay, Iggy. 

“But yeah, probably nothing much.”

That’s fine, as long as you had a nice day.

“Yeah.  It was nice.”

Good for you!  Who’s a happy Iggy?

“Me!  I’m a happy Iggy!”

Yes you are!  Good boy!  

“And I definitely didn’t chew the coffee table!”

Good Ig– wait, what? 

“I didn’t chew the coffee table.  Um… that was… um… Brian.”

You know it wasn’t me, Iggy.

“LA LA LA LA BRIAN WE CAN’T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA!”

Iggy, stop that.  I heard Brian just fine.

“No you didn’t.  Heard who?”

Wonderful.

“Happy Iggy!”

This is why we can’t have nice things.

“Hmm.  These boots don’t smell familiar.”

They’re new.

“Oh, that explains it. They’re nice.”

Thank you.

“Can I eat them?”

No.

“Okay, I won’t.”

Good.

“How about now?”

No.  You can’t eat them, Iggy.

“Okay, I understand.”

Thank you.

“I’ll wait until you take them off.”

No, you won’t.

“Then I can eat them now?”

No!

“Okay.”  

Okay.

“I can wait.”

No, you can’t eat them at all!

“Oh.  Okay.”

Thank you.

“How about now?”

Ugh.  I’m going inside.

Hello, human. 

Hi, Elwood. 

Nice footwear. 

Thank you, Elwood.

Tasty.

 Dammit.

The solitary schnauzer.

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“Lemme out.”

Give me a second, Iggy, I just walked in. I’ll let you out once I put down my keys and —

“Lemme out! I’ve been locked in the kitchen for days!”

Hours.

“At least a week!”

Two hours. Almost.

“Almost a month!”

Actually, a bit over an hour and a half.

“It was terrible!”

How could it be terrible? Look at all you have to play with!

“Where?”

In the corner.

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“Oh… um… I missed that.”

How could you miss that?

“Busy.”

Doing what?

“Um… I forget?”

Wait a minute —

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Aw, come on, Iggy. Seriously?!

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“What! You were gone for months!”

A bit more than 90 minutes!

“90 minutes is a whole year! Now pet me, dammit. You owe me.”

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Looking forward to a relaxing Sunday.

Hi, everyone! Karen here. There won’t be a lot going on with The Iggy Dialogues today — Iggy’s dozing quietly, and I plan to spend the day on the couch with a book.
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The funny thing is the lock screen on my Kindle is advertising the book I was planning to read today — Raising Steam by Terry Pratchett. I love the Discworld novels. I think my favorite —

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“HEY KAREN!!!”

AAAGGHHH! Okay, that was terrifying. What, Iggy?

“I’ve been thinking about how to leverage the blog!”

What are you talking about?

“You know, monetize, synergize and… um… stuff.”

Okay.

“We can sell Iggy’s Wonder Treats!

Treats?

“Yeah! And we’ll make a fortune, because our treats will have the best flavor in the whole universe!”

And what flavor would that be?

“Motorcycle boot!”
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Iggy?

“Yeah?”

Go lay down.

Putting my money where his mouth is.

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“Look at me! Look how cute I am!”

Yes, Iggy, you’re cute.

“I’ve even got one ear flopping near my eye!”

Yes, I see that.

“I’m way more adorable than a stupid wallet!”

That’s not the point —

“It’s just a boring black lump! I’m sweet! I have a fluffy little face!”

You chewed up my driver’s license and credit cards, Iggy.

“Heh. Yeah. It was fun.”