“AAAAAAAGGGHHH!!”
What the —
“AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!! AAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Iggy! What’s going on? It’s three in the morning!
“AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!! AAAARRROOOOOOOO!!!!”
What?!
“OUT THERE! AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!”
Is someone outside?
“AAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Iggy! Did you see someone outside?!
“MAYBE!!!!!!!”
Maybe?
“YES!!!! MAYBE!!!! YES!!! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD–”
Oh no. Okay, I’ll call the police —
“I MEAN, NOT RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!! BUT STILL!!!! AAAAARRROOOOOOO!!”
Wait, is there someone outside or not?
“POSSIBLY!!!”
What do you mean, possibly?
“I MEAN IT’S WITHIN THE REALM OF MATHEMATICAL PROBABILITY THAT THERE IS SOMEONE OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!!!!!”
Oh, for the love of — someone on our property?
“NOT NECESSARILY!!!!”
Ugh. Of course not. Iggy, if not our property, then where?
“SOMEWHERE!!!!!”
You’re shrieking because there’s someone somewhere.
“YES!!! AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!! PEOPLE!!! IN… IN PLACES!!! PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!!!”
I’m going back to bed.
“GOOD NIGHT, KAREN!!!!!”
Good night, Iggy.
“SLEEP WELL!!!!”
No, probably not.
“PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!!! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
The Iggy Dialogues 
Well done Iggy! you proved that The Theory Of Everything is true. Bet your doctors degree is in the mail tomorrow. Congrats!
Iggy’s partial to chaos theory himself. He doesn’t understand it, but he likes the name.
Well told. I could actually hear that in my head.
You could? You have my undying sympathy. (And thanks!)