Fearsome Watchdog.

“AAAAAAAGGGHHH!!”

What the —

“AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!! AAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!”

Iggy! What’s going on? It’s three in the morning!

“AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!! AAAARRROOOOOOOO!!!!”

What?!

“OUT THERE! AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!”

Is someone outside?

“AAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!”

Iggy! Did you see someone outside?!

“MAYBE!!!!!!!”

Maybe?

“YES!!!! MAYBE!!!! YES!!!  OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD–”

Oh no. Okay, I’ll call the police —

“I MEAN, NOT RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!! BUT STILL!!!! AAAAARRROOOOOOO!!”

Wait, is there someone outside or not?

“POSSIBLY!!!”

What do you mean, possibly?

“I MEAN IT’S WITHIN THE REALM OF MATHEMATICAL PROBABILITY THAT THERE IS SOMEONE OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!!!!!”

Oh, for the love of — someone on our property?

“NOT NECESSARILY!!!!”

Ugh.  Of course not.  Iggy, if not our property, then where?

“SOMEWHERE!!!!!”

You’re shrieking because there’s someone somewhere.

“YES!!! AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!! PEOPLE!!! IN… IN PLACES!!! PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!!!”

I’m going back to bed.

“GOOD NIGHT, KAREN!!!!!”

Good night, Iggy.

“SLEEP WELL!!!!”

No, probably not.

“PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!!! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

 

Watchdog, people.

Iggy, do you hear that?

“Huh?”

That noise.

“Huh?”

Outside. Garbage pickup. You know, loud truck, banging noises, right in front of the house. Shouldn’t you be at the window barking at them and guarding your territory?

“Oh. Yeah. Ufff.”

Gesundheit.

“No, that was it.”

What?

Ufff. Done. Wake me for dinner, will you?”

You’ll be up by then. You get dinner at 8:30 in the evening. You know that.

“I meant your dinner.”

Nope.

“Eh. G’night.”

Yes, Iggy did, in fact, just react to the garbage truck noises in front of the house by opening his eyes, letting out a lazy “ufff,” and staying on the couch.  Because watchdog, people.