Yo, M.C. Iggy in the house, y’all, pickin’ up the treats and droppin’ the beats!
First things first, I’m the cutest
Down girl, you know the whole world knew this
And I’m still in the schnauza bizness
I could wag my tail so hard it defies physics
You should want a bad dog like this
Drop my toy and pick it up just like this
High tail, something worth half a twenty on my neck
Bag of treats when I’m hangin’ on the deck
Takin’ all the squirrels down, gonna chase that
Kibble spillin’, you should taste that
I be the I– um…
“…hmm. Psst, Karen?”
“How do I… you know.”
I be the I-G-G-Y! Put my name in bold
I been barking, I ain’t doin’ anything I’m told!
I’m so fancy
Can you taste this bone
I’m in the fast lane
To the dog park and then back home
Who that, who that?
That chew that, chew that?
“That was exhausting. I’ll be on the couch if you need me.”
You were on the couch the whole time.
“Yeah, but I’m staying on the couch, is my point.”
It’s about time you figured out how to stay.
Nothing. Go to sleep.
(By the way, readers, here’s the actual song.)