Said Sisyphus, “At least I don’t have pets.”

Hello, Phoebe!  How’s my pretty kitty —

Don’t give me that.  Do you know what your dog did today?

“Nothing!  I swear!”

I’ll have you know he left a mangled cat near our toy box.

A what?!

A MANGLED CAT.  He mangled a cat and left it near our toy box.  He muttered something about ‘sending a message.’

“Did not!

Iggy —

“I didn’t!”

You did!

“I did, a little, yes.”

Okay.  Phoebe, it’s not a real cat, it’s a toy.  Iggy, stay away from the cats’ toy box.  There — solved.


 “But Karen, the cats are mean to me.”

Because you keep sticking your nose in their butts.

“Oh.  All right.  I won’t do it anymore –”

Good —

“– today.”

We’re going to do this all over again tomorrow, aren’t we?


The solitary schnauzer.

“Lemme out.”

Give me a second, Iggy, I just walked in. I’ll let you out once I put down my keys and —

“Lemme out! I’ve been locked in the kitchen for days!”


“At least a week!”

Two hours. Almost.

“Almost a month!”

Actually, a bit over an hour and a half.

“It was terrible!”

How could it be terrible? Look at all you have to play with!


In the corner.

“Oh… um… I missed that.”

How could you miss that?


Doing what?

“Um… I forget?”

Wait a minute —

Aw, come on, Iggy. Seriously?!

“What! You were gone for months!”

A bit more than 90 minutes!

“90 minutes is a whole year! Now pet me, dammit. You owe me.”