Hi, Brian, how was your day?
Tiring. But not too bad, really.
You’ve worked the early shift for how long, two weeks now? How are you adjusting?
Well, it’s a tradeoff. I hate getting up so early, but then I’m home a lot earlier now, which I like, so—
“Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi! Look at me look at me look at me!”
Yes, we see you, Iggy. Very nice.
“I’m climbing on Brian’s lap!”
Yes, you are.
Yes, he certainly is. Hello, Iggy.
“Hi Brian! Look at me! I’m being friendly! Friendly Iggy!”
Wow, okay. Very friendly.
Well, Iggy was always tired by the time you got home. Not so much now, with you coming home so much earlier.
Yeah, I noticed he’s been—
“Hey Karen! Hey Karen! You know what? You know what? You know what?”
“I’m gonna shove my head against his hand and make him pet me!”
Make me pet him?
Okay, yeah, that’s pretty cute.
“Now I’m gonna lick his face! All of it! A whole lot!”
Good boy, Iggy.
Wait, I’m not as nuts about that.
Trust me, Brian, it could be worse. Let him lick your face.
“Oh boy oh boy oh boy!”
Worse? Really? Okay.
“You know what I’m gonna do next? It’s the best thing ever! Guess what it is!”
This should be interesting.
What are you going to do next, Iggy?
“I’m gonna step on his balls!”
No you’re not.
What the hell-
Yep, worse. Told you so.
“Hey Brian! Karen said I could step on your balls!”
What?! When did you–
I didn’t, Brian. Iggy, you know I didn’t. Get off his lap.
“But Brian said I could step on his balls!”
What?! No I didn’t!
No he didn’t. Neither of us said you could. Get down.
What goes on when I’m not here?
“Yep! Pretty much! Now hold still, Brian, ‘cause I’m gonna step on your-”
“Aww, c’mon! It’ll be awesome!”
No, it won’t be awesome!
“I’mma step on his balls! Happy Iggy! Happy Iggy! NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN AS HAPPY AS I AM AT THIS VERY MOMENT!!!”
Down, Iggy. RIGHT NOW.
What is wrong with this dog?