The solitary schnauzer.

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“Lemme out.”

Give me a second, Iggy, I just walked in. I’ll let you out once I put down my keys and —

“Lemme out! I’ve been locked in the kitchen for days!”

Hours.

“At least a week!”

Two hours. Almost.

“Almost a month!”

Actually, a bit over an hour and a half.

“It was terrible!”

How could it be terrible? Look at all you have to play with!

“Where?”

In the corner.

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“Oh… um… I missed that.”

How could you miss that?

“Busy.”

Doing what?

“Um… I forget?”

Wait a minute —

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Aw, come on, Iggy. Seriously?!

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“What! You were gone for months!”

A bit more than 90 minutes!

“90 minutes is a whole year! Now pet me, dammit. You owe me.”

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