Hi, everyone — Karen here, without Iggy. Iggy tested positive for heartworms a little while back, and he’s currently at the vet for Immiticide injections to kill the worms. He’s coming home tomorrow, but from what I understand, the treatment is probably making him pretty sore and lethargic, so it’ll be a while before it’s business as usual again here at The Iggy Dialogues.
In the meantime, I’m calling the vet to check up on him. It’s ringing now, so — oh, hang on.
Hello, Animal Hospital.
Hi, this is Karen, checking up on Iggy. Could you tell me how he’s doing?
Hi, Karen. I know Iggy got his first shot this morning.
How’s he handling it? Is he feeling okay, or is he hurting? Sleeping a lot?
I guess he’s doing okay so far.
You guess? What’s going on?
You know what, I’m going to put you through to the doctor. One moment.
Okay, readers, this is worrying me–
Hi, Doc. How’s Iggy?
Well, he got his first injection this morning, and he’s–
“IS THAT HER?!”
Down, boy. So, Iggy had–
“LEMME TALK TO HER! GIMME THE PHONE! GIMME THE PHONE! KAREN? HELP!”
Down, boy. As I was saying, he had the first injection, and it doesn’t appear to have affected his behavior–
“GIMME THE PHONE OR SO HELP ME, I WILL PEE IN YOUR RECEPTION AREA LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN PEE BEFORE!”
–which I suppose could be viewed as a positive–
“NEVER MIND A MOP, YOU BASTARDS ARE GONNA NEED AN ARK!”
–depending on your perspective.
“YOU HEAR ME? AN ARK!”
As you know, we have no choice but to keep him overnight–
“KAREN! THEY STABBED ME! BUNCH OF SICK SADISTS! HELP ME!! HELLLP MEEEEEE!!”
–so, um, we were all curious as to how early you could come and get him tomorrow?
What time do you open?
We open at 8 AM.
Figure 9 AM, then, to give you time to give him the second shot?
“WHAT’S THIS? OH MY GOD, IT’S A GODDAMNED CHIHUAHUA. I’M IN A CAGE ACROSS FROM A GODDAMNED CHIHUAHUA! HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT ‘CHIHUAHUA’ MEANS IN SPANISH?”
We’d like to give him the second shot earlier in the morning, actually.
“IT MEANS ‘I LOOK LIKE JEFF GOLDBLUM IN THE FLY ONLY SMALLER AND UGLIER,’ THAT’S WHAT IT MEANS!”
How soon can you get here?
Shall I come by as soon as you open?
“KAREN! GET ME OUTTA HERE!”
Have a good day. Iggy, please put back the ferret!
That’s going well.