Sadly, during his heartworm treatment, Iggy went country.

Wormy Heart, by Iggy

I was a schnauzer
And she was my gal
Then one day she got in his truck
They drove away
She’s stayed gone to this day
And now I’m a miserable f–

Whoa there, language, Iggy!

She left me a note
And in it she wrote
The reasons she felt we must part
‘Your drinking, carousing,
‘Your barking and schnauzing
‘But mostly your cold, wormy heart.’

Schnauzing?

“Yeah. I’m a Schnauzer. We schnauze.”

You schnauze?

“Yep.”

Schnauze.

“Schnauze.”

You’re making that up.

“Kind of, yeah.”

Go rest in your crate. Meanwhile, I’ll call the vet and see if there’s anything he can prescribe that’ll prevent any more outbursts of country, because that was terrifying just now.