“Look. I’m sad. Close the laptop and play with me.”

I can’t right now, Iggy. I’m working. You know that. And where’s that music coming from?

“Huh? What music?”

My iPad! You downloaded a Sarah McLachlan album?

“No! I didn’t! I couldn’t, because I’m too depressed to move! All because you won’t play with me!”

Emotional-blackmailing freak.

“What! It works on TV!”

(If animals ever figure out iTunes, we’re doomed. We’ll be walking around weeping and giving them anything they want. And Sarah McLachlan will be able to buy entire vacation planets.)