“What’s that sound?”
Do you like it?
“No. It’s annoying.”
“What, you mean like Sticking Knitting Needles Through a Dog’s Ear, Volume 1? ‘Cause that’s how annoying it is.”
It’s just classical music.
“What’s it for?”
To relax dogs.
“Which dogs? The stupid ones?”
“Oh. Well, then feed me Friskies and call me a cat, ‘cause this noise is just pissing me off.”
You just yawned, though.
“Huh? Oh. Well, being this annoyed is exhausting.”
Oh, okay. Sure.
“I tell you what. You want me to relax? Feed me jerky and scratch my ears.”
I do that. It doesn’t calm you down.
“You don’t do it long enough! You keep stopping!”
“You keep coming up with excuses!”
“’What excuses.’ Oh, please. It’s always, ‘No Iggy, I’m typing.’”
Well, if I’m working from home I need to–
“Or ‘No Iggy, I’m trying to sleep,’ or ‘No Iggy, I’m driving,’ or ‘No Iggy, I have to go to work now.’”
Well, if you–
“And then you just stop! There I am, no jerky, ears unscratched! You’ve always got some excuse to say ‘No Iggy, no Iggy, no Iggy!’”
“And what about when I wanna eat the laundry? ‘No Iggy, no Iggy, no Iggy.’ All the time!”
You yawned again.
“Huh? Well… I’m bored! Bored with your excuses!”
Laying down, are you?
Aaaaannd he’s out like a light. That album might be the best ten bucks I ever spent.