I know I can’t be free.

“Psst.  Hey.  Lemme out.”

I can’t do that, Iggy.

“What’s the matter?  Scared?”

Well, yeah.  If you get out and —

“I won’t tell the vet.”

What?

“Nobody has to know you helped me escape.”

It has nothing to do with people knowing.  

“Scared of me?”

What?

“I won’t hurt you.  I’ll just go on my way.”

I’m not scared of you, Iggy.

“You should be.”

Really?  Why?

“I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.”

No you didn’t.

“I didn’t?”

No.  That’s from a Johnny Cash song.

“Oh.  It’s a good song.”

It is.

“Yeah.”

Yeah.

“So I didn’t shoot a guy?”

No.

“What was I doing in Reno, then?”

You weren’t in Reno.

“Wow.  I thought I was.”

You weren’t.

“I was totally convinced.”

I see that.

“That’s a really good song.”

Yes.

“Had me completely fooled.”

I don’t think the point was to fool– 

“Why am I locked up, then?”

You’re recovering from heartworm treatment, remember?

“Still?”

Still.

“How long?”

A month.

“Wow, that’s a long time.”

Yep.  It’s a pretty serious ailment.  It’ll take a while for it to go away.

“Can we go to Reno when I’m better?”

Iggy, sweetie, when you’re better, we can go wherever you want.

“Cool!  I wanna go to Reno!”  

Then I’ll take you to Reno.

“I wanna shoot a man!”

What?!  No!  Ugh.  You know, we could have had a heartwarming moment there.  

“I’ve had enough heartworming moments.”

Warming, not worm — never mind.  I have to find you some different music to listen to.

“Sure.  Can I get a teardrop tattoo under my eye?”

This is going to be the longest month of both of our lives, isn’t it?

“Hey, I asked you to spring me.  It’s your own fault for saying no.” 

Sing Along with Iggy.

“Hi reader people!  Iggy here!  Do you like music?  I like music!  Especially CDs.  I know everyone downloads music now, but MP3s just don’t sound the same.  And of course, I can’t chew MP3s.”

 

“Anyway, Karen’s going to have a lot going on today, so I thought instead of her doing the blog, I’d lead everyone in a sing-along.”

That’s nice of you, Iggy, but I really don’t have much I need to do —

“No no no!  It’s okay, I want to!  Just to say thanks, since you adopted me from the rescue and all.”

Aw, Iggy, that’s sweet of you.

“Um… yeah.  Anyway, I thought we could sing a Johnny Cash song.  Is everyone ready?  Okay, let’s sing!  I fell into a burning thing on fire –“ 

Iggy, it’s ‘ring of fire.’

“What?”

It’s ‘ring of fire.’  You said ‘thing on fire.’

“Did I?  Ah… well… actually, um, funny story –“

Iggy, why am I smelling smoke?

“WHAT?  SMOKE?  OH MY GOD.  What smoke?  I dunno?  I wasn’t here?”

 What the hell?! 

“You never spent much time on the porch anyway.” 

AAAAGGGHH!