Iggy and Muppet, I have a surprise for you!
“Can I eat it?”
No, Iggy, you can’t eat it.
No, Muppet, it’s not food.
Okay then. Anyway, I’ll give you a hint. It’s something outside.
We already have trees outside, Iggy.
“But I meant a new tree. Something new to pee on.”
It’s not a tree.
It’s not a woodchipper.
Can we get a woodchipper?
What? Why do you — never mind. We’re not getting a woodchipper.
Anyway, it’s something outside and it means more fun for you.
What have you always wanted, Iggy?
I don’t want a poodle.
“Neither do I, Muppet, but I used to. But wait — it can’t be a poodle, unless you’re keeping her outside?”
What? You can’t keep a poodle outside!
That’s right, Muppet. It’s not nice to–
She’ll just whine that it’s too dirty outside for a princess like her and ‘boo hoo now I won’t smell like perfume and flowers and unicorn puke’ and then I’ll have to snap her neck.
Calm down, Muppet. It’s not a poodle. It’s something that’ll make it easier for you to play behind the house.
“Wait, is it a –“
What? Muppet, it’s not–
YOU’RE PUTTING IN A ZIP LINE!
“We’re getting a zip line? I would have guessed you were finally fencing in the backyard.”
Iggy, we’re not–
ZIP LINE! I’M GOING AIRBORNE!
“I have to say, that’s kind of a weird choice, Karen.”
Iggy, it’s not —
I’M GONNA EAT BIRDS!
You’re not going to eat birds, Muppet.
LIKE HELL I’M NOT!
“You should have ordered a fence.”
I did, Iggy.
“Fat lot of good it’ll do — Muppet’s just gonna zip right over it.”
I didn’t get–
ZIP LINE! Awesome!
Hey, can I watch Fargo again?