“Hey, Karen! Do you read The Indecisive Eejit?”

I do. She’s got a fun perspective on things. And I see she said some very kind things about you today, didn’t she — wait, where are you going?

“Looking for the neighbor’s Chihuahua!”

Uh oh —

“Hey Chihuahua! You hear that?! The Indecisive Eejit says I’m witty and funny!”

Yip yip yip yip!

“What’d you say, Chihuahua?”

Yip yip yip yip!

Iggy, what did I tell you about teasing other dogs?

“But he’s not a dog, he’s a Chihuahua! He’s just a pocket-sized piss dispenser!”

Iggy —

“Hey Chihuahua! You know what ‘Chihuahua’ is Spanish for? Chipmunk!”

Iggy, I don’t think that’s what it means —

Yip yip yip yip!

“Aw, look, the chipmunk is trying to bark!”

Yip yip yip yip!

“You know what? That’s really more like a squeak.”

Iggy —

“He’s all squeaky! Hey, neighbor lady, you might wanna oil your chipmunk!”

Okay, we’re going inside now.

“Witty and funny!”

Thank you very much to The Indecisive Eejit. If you’re here because she sent you —

“HI READER PEOPLE! HI HI HI HI HI!! I’M WITTY AND FUNNY!”

— then welcome, thank you for stopping by —

“WITTY AND FUNNY!!!”

— and sorry about the noise.