IGGY, SLEEPY.

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“Hi.”

Hi, Iggy.

“‘Scuse me.”

Sure.

“Scooch over, please.”

This okay?

“More, please.”

How’s this?

“A little more, please. I wanna stretch a couple of my legs.”

Why don’t I just get up so you can have the entire couch to yourself?

“No, it’s okay –”

I was being sarcastic.

“– part of you has to be on the couch ‘cause I need a pillow.”

Oh, great.

“Hey. Does ‘sarcastic’ mean ‘pillowish’? ‘Cause yeah, you are. Hold still, please. G’night.”

RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD, AND IT SUCKS AND I HATE IT.

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Iggy, you’re drenched!

“So?”

So get off the couch!

“You weren’t so worried about me being drenched when you made me pee outside in the rain!

Oh, come on now.

“Mud a foot away from my face, all four of my feet in puddles –”

Stop whining, Iggy.

“– I can’t open an umbrella ’cause I have no thumbs –”

Tough. Get off the couch.

“Fine. If you need me, I’ll be rolling around on the bed.”

Of course you will.